Marital problems can be difficult for children, especially if they don't understand what's going on. If you and your spouse have decided to end your marriage, it's important that you sit down with your children as soon as possible. Before you discuss the divorce, you should know that how you tell them is as important as what you tell them. Here are four steps that will help you prepare your children for the divorce.
Be Honest About the Reasons for the Divorce
You're getting a divorce. That means you and your spouse have discussed the problems in your marriage. While you don't have to go into those details with your children, you do need to be honest. For instance, your children may have noticed you fighting more often, explain why you've been fighting in simple terms that they'll understand.
This is particularly important for younger children who may not be able to understand complete details. If you have older children, they may want you to provide them with more details. Be sure to provide as many details as you can without going overboard.
Explain the Ways That Life Will Be Different
Live is going to be different for your children after the divorce. Explain those differences to your children. Explain where they'll be living and how the custody arrangements will change their lives. If they'll be attending a different school as a result of the divorce, discuss the new school with them. The more information you can give them, the easier it will be for them to adapt to the changes.
Be Clear That the Divorce Has Nothing to Do With Them
When your children learn about the divorce, they may take part of the responsibility on themselves. Children may feel that they're behavior or their grades in school may have in some way caused the divorce. It's important that you make sure they understand that the divorce has nothing to do with them.
Avoid Emotional Outbursts
Divorce is an emotional time. However, try to avoid emotional outbursts while you're talking to your kids about the divorce. They're going to be depending on you for emotional stability. If they see you falling apart, they're going to fall apart too. If you feel the tears coming on, excuse yourself for a moment so you can gather your emotions.
Children are resilient but they need you to show them the way. If you and your spouse are getting a divorce, your children will need your support. The tips provided above will help you explain the changes to your children.
To learn more, contact a law firm like Backus Law Group.
Share10 September 2015
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